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Help for those bereaved or impacted by suicide

People bereaved or impacted by suicide often feel overlooked, isolated, and unsure what happens next or where to get help that’s right for them, this section of Reach out aims to make a difference by providing appropriate information and support.

Being directly bereaved by the death from suicide of someone you care about or know is a significant, traumatic and complex experience which can have a lasting impact on mental health and future suicide risk for those affected. It is important that they are supported to know what happens next and where to access practical and emotional support for themselves and others around them.

People may also be significantly impacted by suicide in different ways, for example learning of the death from suicide of someone you supported or worked with or a member of a group or community that you are a part of can be extremely upsetting even a brief encounter with someone who sadly went on to take their own life can have a profound impact and can place people at risk of poor mental health and future risk of suicide.

If you’ve lost someone to suicide, or been affected by it:

1. Feelings are complex – there is no right or wrong

Grief after suicide can feel shocking, traumatic, confusing, overwhelming, and different to other loss. It’s important to know that there is no ‘right’ way to feel but that you are also not alone in feeling complex emotions.

Guilt

Could I have done more?

Anger or blame

How could they do this to us?

Shame or stigma

What will everyone think?

Searching for answers

Why did they do this?

Learning of a death from suicide is always difficult or upsetting even if you share no connection with the person that sadly died. Sometimes people can be impacted by the death from suicide of someone they don’t have a close relationship with. It’s not uncommon for people to find it particularly difficult to learn of the death from suicide of someone from their past, from their workplace, someone that shares similar characteristics or experiences, or someone they encountered briefly before they took their own life.

These emotions and thoughts are not uncommon, they may be different depending on the circumstances, but it is important to understand you are not alone and that help is out there to help you cope throughout this difficult time.

People who have been bereaved or impacted by suicide often find these things help:

Take things one day at a time

Trying to tackle everything at once is overwhelming and easily leads to burn out.

Talk to someone you trust

It’s difficult to talk about suicide, but always more helpful than struggling alone.

It’s okay to ask for help

People around you will want to help, and it’s ok to tell them exactly what you need (or don’t need).

Allison’s story

Listen to Allison talk about being bereaved by suicide and the things she found helpful including support from others:

2. Let's help each other

People often find it hard to talk about suicide, sometimes people might feel confused or ashamed about having a complex reaction to a death of someone they don’t know well and will struggle with their emotions alone. Any emotional or difficult reaction to suicide should not be dismissed or undermined, every suicide is a tragedy, a difficult emotional reaction is normal, and help is available for any individual or group of people in a community or workplace that feel they could benefit.

It’s crucial that we support one another to open up in our homes, in our community and workplaces, to support each other by sharing feelings, talking openly about what happened and checking if anyone needs more help.

If you are a part of a family, group, workplace or community that may have been impacted by suicide you can help by:

Checking in on how everyone is feeling and asking if anyone is struggling
Helping to address stigma and fear by opening up and encouraging others to share
Exploring the routes to support – most organisations can support individuals or groups of people who have been impacted in any way by suicide

3. You are not alone

Being bereaved or impacted by suicide is not the same as other types of loss. People who have been bereaved by suicide often feel like they are the only one in their community or circle of family and friends. In addition, there is sadly still a lot of fear and stigma about suicide that makes it very difficult to talk about. These factors cause people bereaved by suicide to feel isolated, ashamed and forced to struggle alone during a very traumatic experience filled with complex emotions and life changing challenges.

If you know someone who has been bereaved by suicide, try to offer support and a listening ear. Taking some time to learn how to support them could be a small thing you could do that could make an enormous difference to them.

Alfie’s story

Listen to Alfie describe how he felt after losing his dad to suicide as a young child, and how he learned that spending time with others, especially those going through similar things, makes a big difference.

4. Help is out there

Whether you have been directly bereaved by suicide or impacted by the loss of someone you knew or met briefly – support is available. Many people are not sure they need help or might reject the offer of help because they feel overwhelmed or fear judgement. Reach Out aims to reassure that getting support early is very important to the future health and wellbeing of yourself and others around you and that you can access non-judgemental help and support specifically for those bereaved or impacted by suicide.